16 Oct

Bacon Adhesive Bandages

written by No Comments posted in Cool, Free Shipping, Fun, Gifts, Home, Office

Ouch. That smarts. Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a designer bandage. And if a fancy bandage isn’t enough to dry up your tears, how about a free toy. Each 3-3/4″ (9.5 cm) tall metal pocket tin contains twenty-five 3″ x 3/4″ (7.6 cm x 1.9 cm) adhesive bandages and a small plastic trinket to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no time.

I like these bacon bandages. I love bacon, it makes everything tastier. You ever have scallops wrapped in bacon? Or, where I grew up, we had the francheezie, a quarter-pound dog, split up and filled with cheese, and wrapped with bacon. I love the idea of garnishing myself with bacon, and all it symbolizes. To my kosher cousins, the bacon serves as a slight, a defiant declaration that I will not be laden down by dogma and delusion. To my vegan brothers and sisters, the bacon is a visible symbol of my dishonor, a white-meat scarlet letter confessing my lack of grit: “I’m with you in spirit, comrades, but the flesh is weak.”

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